Ever After

God created man because…
Well, because he could but that’s not the story.
Our story is about how a woman came to…
For now, lets say came to be.

Ok, so here is our first man, all set to be launched into the world No. 235.God was really excited. He had never created a MAN before. He really was pleased with himself for MAN had so many newer and better features and the older version -APE was a big success in world no.175.He wanted to celebrate with a drink. Yeah, Gods drink too, not a big surprise, is it? He walked towards his cabinet and at that time he had scotch and ambrosia with him. Suddenly, he didn’t know what he wanted. That was just for about 3.1428571… nanoseconds. He picked up the scotch. Ambrosia might be the nectar of Gods but then scotch was just …. SCOTCH, it needs no epithets to glorify it. What he didn’t realize till midnight next day ( Well, he was drinking scotch and scotch makes you realize things later, things you are better off not realizing) that he had accidentally pushed the launch button on MAN in those 3.1428571.. nanosecs of indecision. “There is no use crying over launched man”, thought God and let it be. He later realized that there was a problem. (Well, problems do arise sometimes just because you let things be.) What happened was that because prototype MAN was launched in a moment of hesitation, some of the indecision had rubbed off on it. (Remember, there was no her, so there was no him and everything was it.) God did the best He could do. He let things be.

MAN was an instant hit. It was a constant source of amusement for God and also a good reason for shameless self congratulation. But this indecision error on this prototype was bigger than what His divine vision could foresee. MAN could take all small decisions by itself. Like, it could breathe without hesitation and eat whenever it felt hungry. But as soon as it faced a bit more complex questions like what it should wear and what is the right time to get back to its cave, it was totally clueless. And whenever it faced conundrums like these, it had nowhere to go but to God. Initially God acted all patient and helpful.
(Well, he wasn’t really patient and helpful, dah! So he acted.) But when MAN showed up at God’s doorstep to inquire whether he should be drinking the sparkling liquid flowing from the mountain tops or the sweet, intoxicating
sap from a pine tree, God knew that he needed to find a more permanent solution to this chaos.

God asked it to come in. “Sit down. And you should be having Scotch. Now, lets put an end to this problem once for all. I am very busy and cant (Actually, don’t want to, He thought to Himself) attend to you all the time. What you need is a companion. This is the last time you are ever going to see me. So, listen carefully to what I have got to say. In the course of time, you will meet three of my creations and you will have to choose a companion among those. The entire future of world No.235 depends on this decision of yours. So basically, have fun.” And poof, MAN found itself back in its cave before it could point out the obvious flaw in His divine declaration. “Wasn’t my indecision the problem at hand and now He wants me to ‘choose’ a companion among three potential candidates.”

“You must have heard about irony,” said a sweet childlike voice. MAN turned back and saw a very beautiful being. “It must be one of the three,” MAN thought. “Yes, I get it. The situation…It’s definitely irony. “No, my name is Irony, you duffer,” said the ethereal being. “And I am a fairy. I come from world No.765.” ‘Oh, Hello Irony, I am MAN.’ “If you decide to take me as your companion, I will take good care of you and love you with all my heart. Will you be my companion, MAN?” ‘I don’t know.’ “What are the qualities are you looking for in a companion?” asked the fairy. MAN was still contemplating an answer when it was bombarded by questions again. “Are you ready to make place for someone else in your life? Do you think I have beautiful eyes? Do you believe in love?”

“Oh, this is trite,” said a cool, sexy voice. “Hello Trite,” said MAN, suddenly finding it difficult to take his eyes off the perfect, perfect creature in front of him. “My name is not trite. Trite was what the fairy was saying. My name is Ariel. I am a mermaid. World no.457 is where I come from.” ‘Sorry. You are very pretty Ariel.’ “Yeah, let’s keep this short. You and I can be companions but I need my space. I don’t think I can take care of you but I promise you will have a good time. Now you decide who it is going to be…me or that cliché of a fairy.”



“Hey you get here,” said a commanding voice from the end of a room. “Why are all your clothes made from bearskin? Deerskin is so much more comfortable and it will look good on you. And this cave definitely needs to be redecorated. And this is no time for you to get back home. And you can’t grow your hair that long…” And on and on went the instructions. “I am one of God’s new creations and He says I am the best. I am just like you but far superior. I am WOMAN.”


After sometime, the fairy and the mermaid were shown the door politely but peremptorily. And MAN was forbidden to meet them ever again. What MAN didn’t realize at that time (Well, God had made he drink some scotch, remember) that he didn’t get to make a choice that day (It was like the WOMAN chose for him to choose her) nor would he get to ever again. And they lived…lets just say ‘ever after’ and not comment about anything else.

Again it was the WOMAN who chose for the MAN to eat the apple, which lead to him ultimate downfall but that’s another story.