Little Betty(ok,not so little, but her guy liked to call her that. Which is why, he’s history. GUYS OUT THERE-Don’t call your girls little or Sugar, for that matter ,with Sug for short) was bored. These guys were all so predictable. They all acted friendly at first but asked her out the first chance they got and ended up calling her Sweet Angel or My Tiger or Little Bear. One guy even christened her Kitty-Kitty.” Why repeat a word twice ?" she asked him.She disowned him the moment he gave her a lengthy explanation about numerology and something called the K-factor.This is all wrong,she thought.And this calls for a complete change of technique.'This time around,I get to play to play the field,find THE guy and go after him,'she decided.Now,what kind of a guy did she like?She has dated the I-will-beat-any-guy-who-dares-look-at-you guy and I-am-not-too-sure-I-am-all-that-straight guy.Why,she even dated the I-will-hit-on-your-sister-too guy.
'I am done dating these losers.Its not going to be any guy.Its gonna be a MAN.A sophisticated man.The perfect Cosmopolitan,'she decided.Betty's sister Mindy tried to take advantage of this situation and bring some perspective in her sister's life.'These Cosmopolitans,they go by an alias these days.You type in THE PERFECT GUY in any search engine and press the I-am-feeling-lucky button .It spews back one word-INVESTMENT BANKER'.Ok,so the Class of the guy was zeroed in on.Now,an object of this class has to be instantiated.'Where do I get to meet these banker fellows?"."No,not bankers.Remember it entirely -Investment Banker,"shouted her sister,afraid she would end up with a retail banker or something."Ok,just hang out in the greasy-hamburger-joint on that street with the Blackstone and the Lehman Bros offices and whoever looks like he has won a lottery on the day the fed cuts rates is a potential target."
So,on one friday Betty is all set to go out with this big shot Investment Banker,Maximilian Something.The name does n't matter,Mindy assured her.One long Limo ride later,they arrived at the HILTON.All the guys she had dated till now had always taken her to fast food joints.Betty reminded herself to kiss Mindy,when she got back home.She was about to order beer when her date arrived carrying her drink. ' You should have this.Its a Cosmopolitan .And its perfect.'Four of those,and our girl was all hooched up.The Limo Ride and the affluent ambience did add to the inebriation.Suddenly,she found her brain cells going dead and some other stuff growing in there.'You are my Peachy Pie,'she called out to Maximilian.
Next day,she went back to the Kitty-Kitty guy.Better to be with a guy who calls you Kitty-Kitty than with a guy whom you call Peachy Pie.And after all,she found the perfect Cosmopolitan-the drink,that is.Mindy regrets than Maximilian was not one of I-will-hit-on-your-sister-too guys.As for Maximilian,he ceased to be the Perfect Cosmopolitan after a few days.The fed didn't cut rates,after all.
2 comments:
For a change your story is not meant to piss off moi;this time its the turn of our peachy pie banker. Thank you my Cuddle boo Hot-Pookie pie! (Why does that nickname make me wanna throw up?)
'Peachy Pie'?!! God....I'm speechless!! In my book, it's an achievement to even dream up such (ugh!) names!
How goes it with you babe? Has the back decided to settle down and give you a break? :)
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